Cornish holiday

Friday 19th June 2015

If you're not interested in beautiful beaches, breathtaking views and lush gardens, please think twice about visiting Cornwall this summer on your holiday. Visitors please note: beaches may contain sand and owl sanctuaries may contain owls.

Here are a selection of real-life comments I found on TripAdvisor for Cornwall's most popular tourist attractions:

Minack Theatre

Photo By Harald Bischoff (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Minack Theatre
#1 of 55 things to do in Penzance
"It's different..."   
The play was by Shakespeare and honestly, we watched for an hour and didn't have a clue what was going on. All the 17th century talk was just boring for us.

 

 

Charlestown Shipwreck & Heritage Centre

Photo by Andrew Thomas from Shrewsbury, UK [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Charlestown Shipwreck & Heritage Centre
#5 of 31 things to do in St Austell
"Rather boring"   
Utterly boring for someone who has no interest in boats.

 

 

The Lost Gardens of Heligan

Photo by Edwinb (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Lost Gardens of Heligan
#1 of 31 things to do in St Austell
"Waste of money"   
Great if you like to look at trees and grass.

 

 

The Lizard and Kynance Cove

Photo by Andy Wright from Sheffield, UK (Kynance Cove Uploaded by Kurpfalzbilder.de) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Lizard and Kynance Cove
#1 of 6 things to do in The Lizard
"Nothing exciting"   
I decided to ask the locals what was being offered in this deserted wasteland and all they said was "pasties roun'ere and sea down 'ere".

 

 

National Maritime Museum Cornwall

Photo By Vernon39 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

National Maritime Museum Cornwall
#4 of 58 things to do in Falmouth
"Very poor"   
Too much having to turn handles.

 

 

Tamar Otter and Wildlife Centre

Photo By Robek (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Tamar Otter and Wildlife Centre
#1 of 19 things to do in Launceston
"Not much to do"   
The deers are very friendly, a bit too friendly for me.

 

 

Porthcurno

Photo By Tom Chambers (originally posted to Flickr as Porthcurno Beach) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Porthcurno
#1 of 2 things to do in Porthcurno
"Porthcurno beach"   
Sand very uncomfortable to walk on.

 

 

Lizard Peninsula

Photo By Nilfanion (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

Lizard Peninsula
#1 of 42 things to do in Helston
"Southern Point"   
Seemed a little old fashioned and Victorian.

 

 

Screech Owl Sanctuary

Photo By Dario Sanches from São Paulo, Brazil [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Screech Owl Sanctuary
#1 of 7 things to do in St Columb Major
"“Disappointed”"   
Still mainly owls ... the children soon started saying "another owl another owl".

 

 

St Michael's Mount

Photo By Viosan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

St. Michael's Mount
#1 of 6 things to do in Marazion
"Skip the Castle, Stick to the Sea"   
Yet another egomaniac's demonstration of power

 

 

Truro Cathedral

Photo By Tim Green (Flickr: Truro Cathedral) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Truro Cathedral
#1 of 38 things to do in Truro
"A lesson in how not to welcome visitors"   
Could the cathedral authorities please note that there are no signs at either the front or rear door about headgear.

 

 

Watergate Bay

Photo By Proper Handsome (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Watergate Bay
#5 of 58 things to do in Newquay
"“Unexpected”"   
The only thing to do was to walk, drink and eat.

 

 

Do you have any other good examples? Leave a comment below:

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